**Disclaimer this is not a reference to Justin Bieber’s song.
It is my first full week of unemployment. Which means, all the downtime people. I won’t deny the fact that the time off has been nice. I am sure like anything else, I will have my moments of boredom and stir craziness. However, in these first couple of days, I feel like I have finally had some space to let my mornings be as slow as I wanted them to be and truly sit with the Lord. I had no idea how much was bottled up inside my mind until the time came for me to decompress it all.
These past months, I have been in survival mode. Haven’t we all? My mind wasn’t shut off but it was shoving thoughts down as they came to the surface. I even told a friend one day that I felt like I was having so many really big thoughts that I had no idea where to even start with them. It didn’t feel like I had the capacity to tackle any of them. I would jot them down in random places with the intensions to revisit them but that never happened.
A couple months ago I took a strengths finders test for my job and was expecting all my top results to be related to relationships. To my surprise, all of my top results were related to thinking. In fact, my top strength was strategic. At first, none of them made sense, but as I started reading the explanations for all of them, I realized that it actually made perfect sense. I am a thinker. I knew I was but I didn’t realize how much it seeped into the way I do life.
I haven’t revisited any of the thoughts I have had over the past couple weeks but it was and it is time to do so.
I had to gather all these scattered thoughts/ideas that were written down all over the place and lay them out in front of me. I wanted to see what the common dominators were. I wanted to have a big picture view of where my mind had been at recently. It didn’t take long for me to see that so much of what I have been thinking about has come through the lens of one question: What Do You Mean?
It feels like there are these words, verses, and even phrases that I have heard my whole life that the Lord has prompted me to want to understand in a new way. In a new way, I mean His way. My last post is a clear indication that I am learning there are things within me and within us that need redefining. In the end, it doesn’t matter what I think something means. I need to know what God says something means. So why not ask Him? That’s what I am having to do right now.
The beautiful thing is that I get to go there first. I know that although the Lord has enabled me to communicate these truths with you that He is first and foremost concerned with me meeting with Him. I am not promising a rollout schedule of blog posts. I won’t put a time constraint on new thinking. I want to let the Lord rewire whatever needs to be rewired within me. But, I want you to know that I am dedicated to seeing this project through. I’ll need you to be patient with me.
I have barely scratched the surface here. However, the Lord has given me some direction just by showing me an overview of my thought patterns over the last couple of months. I am not big on blog series but that’s a little bit what this feels like it will be.
I am asking God to help me understand what He means when He says certain things. My hope is that you will journey with me. We already made one stop. But, I have a couple more planned for us.
Here is where we are headed:
A 5 Part Series: What do you mean?
Comfort – You can read here.
Restore
Heal
Rest
Surrender
I want to know what God says these words mean. Not the world, not my friends, and not even myself – but God Himself. Let’s start digging.
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