Trying To Make It Back

I’m the drifter. Little by little, I wander downstream and find myself trying to swim against the current. Blinded by my own strivings, I miss the fact there is an anchor for my soul at my fingertips.

Will I choose to use it?

Or

Will I choose to keep exhausting myself with my senseless mentality of “I need to make it back.”

Because I am prone to wander, Lord I feel it.

But the anchor of grace says, “oh my child, I don’t need you to swim upstream.”

He draws near as soon as we draw near.

I am learning that there is no need to swim. There is no need to strap on googles and let what we “do” for the Lord be what serves as the strokes that propel us forward so we can be closer to Him. The only thing that needs to be done is for us to take a carabineer and hook it to the sure and steadfast anchor.

Whether we realize it or not, striving is nothing less than Judaism. Judaism is the main religion of the Jewish people. In 2007, 67% of the Israeli people said that their religion was Judaism. Judaism, broken down to its simplest form, is putting more focus on actions than belief.

But me? Not me. There is no way I would ever start putting more focus on actions than my belief.

• Have you ever felt like you weren’t pleasing the Lord because you weren’t doing something?
• Have you ever been consumed with getting a title in ministry?
• Have you ever failed and tried to make up for it by doing “spiritual” things?
• Have you ever tried to prove your spirituality to people? (social media)
• Have you ever felt the need to dominate the conversation and prove that you know more?
• Have you ever gaged your spirituality on following a set of do’s and dont’s?
• Have you ever just not go of a mistake/choice you made?
• Have you ever chosen unforgiveness instead of grace?

If so, which I think if we are honest we all have been there before, then we have slipped into the ways of Judaism. The moment we start making our relationship with the Lord about what we have or haven’t done we become just like the Israelites. We became people of action and not faith. We become people practicing Judaism.

I have been studying Judaism on and off for a while now simply because I know I am a doer and I wanted to be able to catch myself the moment I started sliding into that mindset. I wanted to become a person that was fueled by grace and constantly stood in awe of how sweet it tasted. To me, that is the root of Judaism, it is people who have never truly experienced grace. It is us wanders who aren’t listening to that voice that whispers into our exhaustion that the anchor of grace says we don’t have to make it to Him. He makes it to us.

Just yesterday I was reading in Hebrews and made this connection to something back in Exodus and it left me with eyes wide-eyed and mystified.

There are two mountains talked about in Hebrews. The mountain of fear and the mountain of joy.

Hebrews 12:18-24:

You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them because  they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.” The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”

But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

The writer of Hebrews is presenting a dramatic contrast between Judaism, which is Mt. Sinai (the mountain of fear) and Christianity, represented by Mt.Zion (the mountain of joy). The old covenant of the law, which we see all throughout the old testament, brought fear and separation which is mentioned in Exodus. But the new covenant brings joy.

Now, let’s go to Exodus.

In Exodus 19, Moses is actually at Mt. Sinai with the Israelites. They are camping at the bottom of the mountain. Moses leads the people out of the camp to go meet with God and they stood at the foot of the mountain. The Lord descended on Mt. Sinai in fire and the smoke prevented the people from being able to see God.

Exodus 19:16-23:

On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. Everyone in the camp trembled.  Then Moses led the people out of the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain. Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the Lord descended on it in fire. The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, and the whole mountain trembled violently. As the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him. 

The Lord descended to the top of Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain. So Moses went up and the Lord said to him, “Go down and warn the people so they do not force their way through to see the Lord and many of them perish. Even the priests, who approach the Lord, must consecrate themselves, or the Lord will break out against them. Moses said to the Lord, “The people cannot come up Mount Sinai, because you yourself warned us, ‘Put limits around the mountain and set it apart as holy.

The boundaries were due to God’s holiness. The only thing that can break the barrier of those boundaries was Jesus.

I can’t help but think that even in that moment, as the words came out of the Lord’s mouth and He put the boundaries in place, He knew that Jesus would come and become a bridge for us. The Israelites could not force their way up the mountain to see the Lord. They could not lace up their sandals and make the hike. In fact, in the passage in Hebrews we read, the mountain is described as “burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm.” They could not see the Lord through the thick smoke and it did not matter what they did or how hard they tried, even touching the mountain would be the end of them.

We would still be the Israelites standing at the bottom of Mt. Sinai without a chance in the world to make it to the top and see through the smoke if Jesus hadn’t come and gone to the cross. The wooden beams that He was nailed to are now our building blocks for a ladder that lets us climb the mountain. But it is not Mt. Sinai. Oh no, Jesus lets us climb a different mountain. Now, we get to climb Mt. Zion.

It is the heavenly Jerusalem. The city of the living God. The city where thousands upon thousands of angels sing in joyful assembly. It is Jesus, the mediator of the new covenant.

We don’t have to be the people at the bottom of the mountain anymore. We can have the mountain of joy and not fear. We can have Mt. Zion and not Mt. Sinai.

I saw so clearly when I was reading this that sometimes I light the fire and cause my own smoke that prevents me from seeing the Lord and most of the time the match that sparks the flame is my strivings to make it to Him. It is me trying to force my way to the top of the mountain that He has so clearly said I will never be able to climb without hurting myself in the process.

It is not actions it is belief. It is not what we do it is what Jesus has done.

We can stop standing at the bottom of the mountain scheming and mapping out how we can make it back up. We can just let go of the old covenant and take hold on the new one.

So this one is for you.

All you drifters, wanders, strivers, and doers.

All you people swimming upstream.

All you people slipping into Judaism.

Grab ahold of the anchor of grace and lock yourself in. Take off the hiking shoes or the goggles. Take a much-needed break from all that you are trying to do and simply go sit on top of Mt. Zion with Him.

We don’t have to be the people at the bottom of the mountain anymore.

He is inviting you to come up.

And the invitation requires no work….

only belief